My hair is good enough for me

Kelly_Shaun party 2

It’s apropos that I saw Chris Rock’s new documentary/comedy “Good Hair” on a day when I wrestled with what to do with my natural hair. Should I straighten it for a  two-question television shoot to make myself more acceptable-looking to viewers or be myself?

First of all let me say that I really enjoyed the movie, which opens in theaters in October. There are some things I would have changed were it my movie but it’s not. And I understand why Chris did what he did. I don’t want to get sidetracked though. This is about me and my hair.

I’ve been wearing my hair in its natural state since the fall. It was a big step for someone who was as addicted to the weave as a strawberry is to crack, just like so many other Black women these days. But I decided to go au naturel not so much to get in touch with my roots (no pun intended) but in part because I was unhappy with the weaveologists in New York. They were either too expensive, too slow, too unprofessional or a combo of all three. And then there were those who were expensive and lacked talent. I timed my visits home to L.A. to when it was time to get my weave done. I lucked up when my weave lady, Traci, moved to Las Vegas from L.A. last year because I had a business trip to Sin City in June, just days before I was to shoot some more shows for the Travel Channel.  Perfect timing!

When it came time for my weave to be redone in September, I decided to get my hair pressed instead. This meant I couldn’t work out but what the heck. For many Black women, we choose between having a tight body or a ‘do. I chose the latter. One day while sitting in the chair at the salon, I looked in the mirror at my wet, natural hair and liked the image I saw looking back at me. “Hey, I look kinda good,” I said to my stylist Everton. He agreed and told me what to do if I wanted to wear it natural. I let him finish his job, wore it straight for another week then started rockin’ a natural look. Except for a week or two here and there, I’ve worn my hair wild and woolly and for the most part enjoyed the freedom.

Fast forward to yesterday. I received a last-minute request to appear on camera as a travel expert for an international media outlet that I have never worked with before. The shoot would take place at the most prestigious hotel in Beverly Hills. I accepted. Since I already had an eyebrow appointment at Damone Roberts right before the shoot, I arranged to have my makeup done there too since I don’t own foundation or blush and Lord knows I need my face done properly. Then there was the question of my hair. Could I convince a stylist to do my hair at 7 a.m. so I wouldn’t have to go on camera with my wild hair? Last night I debated whether to make the call to a stylist. I finally decided, hey, this is me. I wear my hair natural. Why should I spend a few hours in a beauty salon having it straightened to make myself more palatable to viewers? Tanika Ray wears her hair natural on Extra and no one has made her change. In fact, she gets tons of compliments on her beauty. It’s high time Black women stop buying into other people’s standards of what is beautiful. I took a stand and decided I would wash my hair in the morning so at least it would be a little tamer. I went to bed proud of myself for not giving in to the temptation.

As it turns out, the shoot was canceled so I didn’t get a chance to see the producer’s reaction to my wild coif. Therefore, my hair was in its  usual natural state when I went to the 2 p.m. screening of “Good Hair.” Chris touches on an array of topics relating to Black women and hair, including the high cost to maintain a good weave and who pays for this, sex with a woman who wears extensions, the damaging relaxers Black women use to straighten their hair, how Black girls as young as three are getting relaxers, Al Sharpton’s hair, how other folks, especially the Koreans, are making beaucoup bucks off the Black hair industry and how society looks at Black women who wear their hair natural. Chris even traveled to India, the country that produces the hair I used to wear and still have bags of, to show how women there allow their hair to be cut for God during a tonsure ceremony and have no idea someone is selling their hair to Shenequia back in the States.

One segment that starts out as humorous actually is very sad. After accompanying an Indian man to the Elgin Charles Salon in Beverly Hills (sidenote: Elgin did my first weave back in the 90s and swears that without the Italian hair he did such a great job of  attaching to my hair in 1997 that I never would have landed a job on CNN-SI.) and realizing that the man’s suitcase full of Indian hair was worth around $10,000, Chris decided to see what he could sell Black hair for. He took a huge bag of hair to various beauty supply stores and no one wanted  Black hair. One black woman said, “No one walks around with nappy hair anymore.”

“I do,” I said aloud in the screening room.

And I’m proud of it.

Sitting in the screening room with primarily Black women with various hairstyles, including natural and weaves, I felt very good about myself for not begging a hairstylist to get up at the crack of dawn to run a hot  pressing comb through my hair and then being forced to skip my noon spin class just so I could answer two questions on camera later that afternoon.

I had my hair pressed a couple of weeks ago and loved the way it looked and its silky feel. I took some new photos of myself and updated my photo on Facebook and on my website’s home page. While I was ready to go on camera with my natural hair, I’m not ready to change my homepage photo on my website to one that shows me with my hair natural. I guess I still have a ways to go. But I’m getting better.

One of my favorite lines in the movie is delivered by actress Tracie Thoms, who wears her hair natural.

“There are so many pressures to straighten your hair,” she says on camera. “To keep my hair the same texture as it grows out of my head is looked at as revolutionary. Why is that?”

We all know the answer and it’s a sad one.



Filed under Beauty, Entertainment

8 responses to “My hair is good enough for me

  1. urbantravelgirl

    First of all, I say “BELLISSIMA!” LOVE your natural hair — it really looks fabulous! What a thoughtful post, and one that will force most of us sisters to do some serious thinking about why we do whatever it is we do to our hair. What’s that quote, the one that (paraphrased) says, “If black women could ever make peace with their hair, they could rule the world.” SO, so true.

    I wear my hair in two-strand twists, and that’s about as “natural” as it gets. Every now and then I give it a rest, but go running to the nearest Egyptian salon in downtown Chicago (fortunately there are two within a block of my condo) to get it blow-dried and curled. But what’s up with that? I can’t remember the last time I had the nerve to go out with my hair newly shampooed and coiled up in its natural state. The whole “hair thing” probably stirs up more emotions than we often feel like dealing with, and that’s why we seem to operate on autopilot when it comes to “dealing with it.”

    I’ll have to give this more thought — thanks for the prompting!


    • Thanks Maureen for the comment. This post garnered lots of comments on Facebook from Caucasian women who don’t like curly hair, from Asian whose race tries to change its eyes and create eyelids and from Black women who say they would never work in an industry where their hair mattered.

      I do love my natural hair but it has a mind of its own. The picture shows my hair the day it was washed. Give it two days and it is twice as big and all over the place. So now when I have somewhere “important” to go, I make sure I shampoo it the night before or the morning of if I have two or three hours to let it dry somewhat.

      I can’t wait for Chris’ movie to come out because it will cause lots of us to stop and think what we are doing and why. It’s going to screen at NABJ so we’ll read more soon.

  2. C W

    Your hair is beautiful! I am aiming to get mines that long…

  3. Pingback: Did Publishers Weekly lose its cotton pickin’ mind? « Kelly's Korner

  4. JoyBee

    Thanks for this article!!! I did the BC on November 26, 2009 and have loved my hair every since!! I still struggle with my acceptance of it because I know everyone else does… I once said that I would never do it because I can’t live without a relaxer but when that day came when it was time to make those four parts and straighten that new growth, I had had enough! Instead of my handy dandy applicator, I grab some scissors and turned up my Jill Scott and began my journey! Finding articles like this gives my a little more confidence… living in New Orleans YOU need it! If you aren’t “creole” or ‘light skinned with good hair’ you get looked at funny when you make the decision to go natural. But I’m learning to embrace and love MY dark skin and little nappy fro 🙂

    • Thanks for your reply Joy! I too still struggle. I recently had to renew my passport, which meant taking a new photo. I had my hair pressed, knowing the photo would have to last me 10 more years. So I still get my hair pressed out on occasion but I will try not to go back to the damaging relaxers. And every so often I throw on a wig to mix up my look because I do get tired of the natural look on occasion. But for the most part, I still embrace who I am naturally. I’m glad you are too!!

  5. Thanks Kelly for sharing this post with me. I felt just as you did in that theater watching “Good Hair.” I was also in the company of good women, some who shared the same hair type as me, and others who proudly wore their relaxed or weaved hair. It truly is revolutionary to love ourselves as God made us. But with so many choices in the world, we can’t all be the same!

    I’m natural for reasons that may be different from why the next woman may be natural. Everyone’s reason is different for staying natural or choosing to change from being natural. I say let’s love ourselves regardless of the hair choices we choose to make 🙂

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